Bad Parking: A Sensual Obsession

You could fit a Fit in there

Like most New Yorkers, I live in a neighborhood with a lot of apartment buildings, a lot of cars, and a limited number of streets. In other words, parking is tough. And it doesn't get easier when people elect to "buffer park," i.e., leave themselves a good half a car's length on either side, as this red Matrix did when he or she pulled in in front of me the other day.

It reminds me of an incident a few months ago, also in my neighborhood. A woman in an SUV pulled into a spot behind me--way behind me. As we both left our cars, I suggested she move hers up to make room for more cars to park behind her. No, she said, she would have to get out. I pointed out that she had more than enough room to do that. She started to walk away. I said, "I just think it's a bit selfish to...." She turned on me, "I'm not selfish, you're selfish." Reader, you can categorize me at that moment in any number of ways--jerk, asshole, fill in the blank, but selfish?

I once had a housemate in Pawtucket, RI, where on-street parking was easy, who got so fed up with the way another neighbor parked that one night he used his truck to physically push the neighbor's car forward a few feet. He spent the night at the ACI (Adult Correctional Institute). I think a better solution might be a bumper sticker we could apply in appropriate situations: "I don't park like shit, I'm just spacially challenged."