Marquee Moon

More than 16 ounces

That's the beacon, the holy grail, visible from the Gowanus Expressway. The Dunkin' Donuts on Third Avenue and 35th St. It gets only one review on Google, and it's pretty negative: "The stupidest staff ever, u can repeat your order 5 times and they will do it wrong anyway. Idiots!!!" I've never been to this store. I don't know any of its staff. To that anonymous reviewer, I have only one thing to say: You try doing it. Wait, I thought of one more thing: Asshole. 

(Warning to coffee-seeking drivers on the expressway: It's easy to get off at 39th Street but you'll have a long slog before you get a chance to get back on. Still, you have your coffee and crueler.)