Kenny G. Brings the BQE to the White House

Kenneth Goldsmith

An extraordinary event took place at the White House today. President Obama and the First Lady hosted a Celebration of American Poetry. Not so surprising, although they missed National Poetry Month by a couple weeks--was it roasting Donald Trump or killing Bin Laden? No, the really remarkable thing is that they invited the poet Kenneth Goldsmith, along with more predictable names: Rita Dove and Billy Collins (both former Poet Laureates) and Elizabeth Alexander, who delivered the inaugural poem at the President's inauguration.

There are (at least) two reasons Kenny Goldsmith's presence was so surprising. First, he describes himself as a "transcriptionist" rather than a poet. His books consist of transcribed speech from a range of sources: the complete radio commentary of a Yankees game to 24 hours worth of traffic reports from 1010 WINS radio.  At the White House event, he read excerpts from Whitman's "Crossing Brooklyn Ferry" and Hart Crane's "The Bridge," followed by two of those traffic reports from his own book Traffic. Not what you'd expect for a White House event. Way to go, Obamas!

Elizabeth Alexander

The second reason is a bit more obscure. Kenneth Goldsmith is also sometime WFMU DJ Kenny G. Last summer, on his "Kenny G's Hour of Pain" show, he did four one-hour shows entirely made up of transcribed traffic reports read by him. (It was a surreal experience to be driving on the BQE listening to traffic reports that talked about where you were but not when you were.) Better still, after the truly awful inauguration poem read by Elizabeth Alexander, Kenny G. invited listeners to take the sound file and contribute their own mash-ups.  They did, and it's some of the best radio you'll ever hear. I'm guessing Elizabeth Andrews and Michelle Obama hadn't heard it when they invited Kenny G; although Elizabeth did look a little nervous sitting next to Kenny, I think it was the suit he was wearing. Check it out:

From Maspeth to Malden

The State of New York DOT has released four potential designs to replace the Kosciuszko Bridge. The picture on top shows the design for a cable-stayed bridge. The picture below is of Boston's fairly recently completed Memorial Bridge. Stealing from Boston? Is this the best we can do? Really?! I mean, I'm a Red Sox fan and love the Pernice Brothers but come on.

My own solution is preserve and repair the existing KB, fabricate a second just like it, duct-tape the two together, a la the Red Green Show, and thus double the capacity for traffic without losing a beautiful piece of engineering and design.

The DOT page also includes goofy video simulation drives for each of the designs with mind-numbing background music.

Save a Penny, Lose a Bridge

How did people cross the Newtown Creek before the Kosciuszko Bridge? Here is the Penny Bridge (c. 1910), which the Kosciuszko replaced in 1939. It got its name, the story goes, from the 1-cent toll that was charged to cross between Maspeth and Greenpoint. The bridge sat above the site of a ferry begun in the 17th century by Humphrey Clay, an associate of Captain Kidd--pirates on the Newtown Creek?! Did the bridge have to go when the KB opened? No, according to the great NY Streets page on the Newtown Creek. That was another of Robert Moses' dubious decisions. The bridge might have remained to this day as a pedestrian and bike crossing. Had it done so, it's easy to speculate, the banks of the Newtown, rather than the Gowanus, might have become the next "New Soho."

Let Them Eat BQE!

After my post about Tadeusz Kosciuszko, a reader commented: "Surely there must be a Polish poet who captures the spirit of the BQE..."  Polish poets seem to be better with trains than autostradas, but it's a good point and I will keep looking. In the meantime, another kind of artistry, and a weekend diversion from the Kosciuszko Bridge series. When the new Wschod-Zachod (East-West) thoroughfare--popularly known as the W-Z or "Wuzetka" [voo-zet-ka]--opened in Warsaw 1949 it was celebrated as one of the first great rebuilding projects in Poland after the devastation of WWII. Naturally, a Warsaw baker created a cake to commemorate the event. Though not my favorite (that would be szarlotka), W-Z cake is still popular in Poland. Check out how those layers mimic the lanes of traffic. Could no Queens or Brooklyn baker have favored us with a "BQE Bon-Bon"?


For film footage of the W-Z and postwar Warsaw check out this film:


EVERYDAY LIFE ON THE W-Z (THE GENERAL SWIEREZEWSKI AVENUE) aka DAILY LIFE IN POLAND

Kos-chee-WHO-sko?

Tadeusz Kosciuszko, as every schoolchild* knows, was a Polish soldier who fought with the Continental Army in the American Revolution. As an engineer, he planned the defense of Saratoga--a battle widely thought to be a turning point in the war. He designed the fortifications at West Point, which, after the war, would become and remain the Army's military academy. He left the newly founded United States to take part in a failed uprising against Russia and Prussia, the reigning powers in Poland's "Second Partition." In his will, Kosciuszko left his property to his friend Thomas Jefferson so that Jefferson would use the money to purchase the freedom of his own slaves. Sadly, I don't believe Jefferson did--correct me if I'm wrong.

The Kosciuszko Bridge opened in 1939, a momentous year for Poland (and the world) and one that would witness the suspension of Poland's autonomy as a nation for decades to come. The sculpture of Kosciuszko is found on Wawel Hill in Krakow.

(*Every Polish schoolchild, that is.)

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Hope to Enter Here

This post begins an eagerly unanticipated series on the venerable Kosciuszko Bridge--while we still have her. But where is the bridge? Easy now, first you need to get onto the BQE. This is the view from the Queens side of the bridge on a pretty typical Tuesday morning: four lanes converging to a one-lane on-ramp to the BQE. That mean that seven lanes become three within, oh, an eighth of a mile of the bridge. Magic!

Well, we either need to build a new bridge--and that's the plan--or adopt my favored strategy: cut off access to the BQE from the LIE. That would eliminate two of those converging lanes. And would we really miss all those Long Islanders?

Next post: A little history. Polish history.

Cuyahoga!

My post yesterday about the manmade wonders of the Gowanus Canal brought back experiences with another city. In the very early eighties, I was a student at a small rural college in Ohio, eerily similar to Gary Shteyngart's Accidental College. My friend Kate and I got a little grant from the college to write a student's guide to Cleveland; the idea was to encourage students to take advantage of our nearest big city. Well, we did, spending a glorious summer driving in, going to rock clubs, exploring neighborhoods, eating and drinking--all on the college's dime. And we even finished the book (now extremely rare)!

As part of our research, we asked the college's professors and staff members to recommend places in Cleveland they liked. We got lots of recommendations for restaurants but the response that I remember, twenty-five years later, came from a professor of Russian/Soviet history Kate and I had both had and liked very much. As you drive across the overpass into Downtown Cleveland, she advised, be sure not to miss the spectacular "industrial landscape" that extended along the Cuyahoga River for miles in either direction--remnants of the city's heyday as a steel town. Now that's a professor you want to teach your children.

That amazing aerial photograph from 1954 is from the Cuyahoga River Online Collection at the Great Lakes Industrial History Center. Hey, where's the NYC Industrial History Center?!